I Have Cancer
Yeah, no doubt about it. PSA rising, sent for a biopsy and then the dreaded diagnosis . . .“I am sorry to confirm you have prostate cancer.” It’s a moment I have imagined through the years as occasional aches and pains led to tests, but always in the past the confirmation “all is well it’s just . . .” Not this time though; I have cancer. This of course confirms what I have taught so many times from God’s word . . . the effects of sin visit themselves randomly upon the creation in varying degrees and at various times (John 9:1-3). God promises only that His grace will be sufficient as His power is made perfect in weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9-10), and that He has a purpose in the life of His child that will advance our good if we submit to what He has lovingly allowed (Hebrews 12:5-13).
So that’s it! I have cancer and I can diagnose the theology as well as any oncologist can diagnose the pathology. But here’s the great part. I truly believe those things. I am not especially anxious, I am not struggling with God’s goodness or asking a lot of penetrating ‘why’s?’ I am more aware of my pending mortality and the brevity of this life by eternal standards.
Sorting through hundreds of pieces of mail and a pantry full of herbal remedies has been challenging and humorous and helpful all at the same time. Kathy and I have prayerfully chosen forty-five Proton Radiation Therapy Treatments at the Loma Linda University Medical Center in Southern California. These treatments will kill the cancer, hopefully all of it and totally. It will be many months and years before I know the final outcome of this treatment, but I do believe this is the best path for us. I will be gone from Chicago from January through early March, 2009, but will be teaching at Greg Laurie’s church and sending the New Testament study on trials back to our Harvest Family by video. We are experiencing a great nearness to the Lord and a sense of His wisdom in appointing this season of adversity for us. In fact . . .
I have a tenderness to the pain of others and a deeper burden for those closest to me. I am more acutely aware of my sin and much less willing to weigh it or measure it or manage it. I just want to be clean and close and consecrated in my walk with Christ; and I am, more than ever. Truly!!! And for that I am very thankful. I have experienced an outpouring of love from our congregation and beyond that has made me more appreciative than ever to pastor a church and belong to the body of Christ. God is good, I’m gonna get through this in God’s way and in His time and I love Him more than ever. Today is a good day, and because of it, no matter how this ‘day’ ends, tomorrow will be even better. Isn’t it great to know the Lord and love His word and walk in fellowship with His followers? How blessed I am! I will keep you up to date. Feel Free to leave your comments!
Categorized as: Christian Life, From James
