Top 5 Worst Illustrations of ALL Time (let’s retire them)
One of the things that makes the life of a preacher challenging is the need for fresh illustrative material for every sermon every week. The preacher, in seeking to persuade men and women, is looking to teach the mind and challenge the will of every hearer. Stuck in the middle is the all important aspect of emotions. Preachers need fresh moving stories that impact the hearer at an emotional level. Sadly, there are a number of over-used illustrations that step beyond emotion to sentimentalism at best and cheesy at worst. I think it’s time we vote on the worst ones (some of which I have used but VERY long ago) and retire them once and for all. I will lay out the worst of the worst in the next two posts and you can vote for the worst ones. I promise I will never again use the ones we choose to retire. (Preachers and hearers are all welcome to participate.)
#1 The Toy Boat Story
This is where the little boy works to save a few pennies to buy the wood to make a boat but the boat runs away down some creek and the boy is heart broken. Then wandering the streets one summer day he sees the boat (apparently found) and goes into the store to reclaim what is his. Refused by the store owner, he gets a job in the store and over a series of weeks, earns the money to buy the boat back. Leaving the store with boat under arm he exclaims (drum roll please) “You are mine twice! Once because I made you and twice because I bought you.” Now the story teller can never leave the obvious analogy to the hearer. He must say in addition. “You know ladies and gentlemen, we are just like that toy boat . . . ” This one is way past its golden anniversary. Let’s buy it a gift and send it on its way.
#2 Footprints in the Sand
This is the dream sequence where the guy complains to God that while their life together was like a walk on the beach, there was only one set of footprints during the most difficult seasons. To which the Lord replies, “No my child . . . ” well you know the rest. While this story is actually moving, and reflects a biblical reality, its frequent—no constant—use in sermons, wall pictures, post cards, cross stitches, gift plates, etc. ad nauseum, has really diluted its already overly sentimental message. Frustration with its over use has led to knock offs, which contrast the message of personal responsibility such as ‘butt prints in the sand.” Google that if you want to read it. Kind of funny, all pretty over done. I vote we take this illustration and put it into hospice immediately.
Tune in next time for:
The kid on the bridge with his dad when the train comes.
The tellers at the bank who are learning to recognize counterfeit money etc.
Also you will get a chance to add your own retirement suggestions and vote for the absolute, ‘this one must go’ worst illustration, OK? This is good work. Let’s do it together and freshen up the pulpits of America.
PS, if you gonna comment in defense of these tired cheesy stories, . . . yeah, save your breath! 
Categorized as: From James, Ministry
